Funny Non Veg Jokes in Hindi

Hi friends, Are you looking for Funny Non Veg Jokes in Hindi, Then here you will get awesome Non Veg Jokes Hindi to send with your friends and make a big smile on their faces. Below we have compiled the latest and best collection of Non Veg Jokes in Hindi for Whatsapp and Facebook, Hindi Non-Veg Chutkule, Non Veg Jokes in Marathi, Punjabi, English as well as Hindi Language. Feel Free to share these Hindi Non veg Jokes Latest 2017.

Best Non Veg Jokes in Hindi:

Funny Non Veg Jokes in Hindi
Funny Non Veg Jokes in Hindi

Sunny leone ka husband dukan par gya.
Dukandar – Sir kya chahiye ?
Husband – Ji Yoni.
Dukandar – Saale kutte tune yaha bhi ashlil harkate shuru kar di.
Husband – Jiyonai ka mobile chahiye kutte.


Imran hashmi call girl se – Panis hilane ke kitne paise leti ho ?
Call girl – 500 rupye prati ghanta. 🙂
Tujhe hilwana hain kya ?
Imran hashmi – Nahi yaar,
Bus pta karna tha ki,
Aajtak maine kitni seving ki hain. 🙂


Ek Aurat Auto Rukwa Kar Paise Tay Karte-Karte Doosre Auto Mein Baith Gayi.
Pehla Auto Wala Hadbadi Mein Jaldi-Jaldi Se Bola.
Auto Wala: “Ye Kya Baat Hui, Madam? Khada Aapne Mera Karwaya, Aur Chadd Doosre Par Gayi?“


Ek kutiya ne 4 pillon ko janam diya
Pillon ne pucha papa kahan hai
kutiya boli chup raho kamino
papa jokes ko padhne mein busy hain..


Boy- I want to sex with u
Girl- Tamij se baat karo
Boy- Alla tala k fazlo karam se khuda ka ye nek banda
ap mohtarma ko arju-e-fitrat se be inteha chodna chahta hai….


Ek hizde ne armi ke sare test pass kar liye sex test me manager bola aapka to lund hi nahi hai
tab hizda bolta hai manager se
ye bataiye aapko goli chal bani hai ya maa chud bani hai


Girl Friend: Mera rishta aaya hai aur shadi hone wali hy.
Boy Friend: That’s Good,
Phir to hum condom ke bina sex kar sakenge…..


Boy during Sex: Kyun na hum shadi kar lein, phir hum roz aisa kar sakenge.
Girl: Mazdoor ho Mazdoori karo, factory ka maalik ban-ne ki koshish na karo.


Husband ne first night ke baad next day apni biwi se poochha: “Tum aaj tak kitne logon ke sath soyi ho?”
Wife: “Such boloon to sirf aap ke sath hee soyi hoon, baki sabne saari saari raat jaagaye rakha…”


Badi hasrat thi dil ki,
Kholein unki salwaar ka nara,
Sanam ki berukhi to dekho ki,
Nange hi chale aaye.


What is the similarity between burnt toast and a pregnant girlfriend?
In both cases boy thinks, “Ek minute pehle nikal liya hota to kitna achcha hota”


Ladki santa ka private saman dekh kar boli: “itna bada”
Santa khushi se bola: “O ji hum punjabi hain hamara to sub kuch hi bada hota hai”
Jab ladki ne apni salwaar utaari to santa uski choot dekh kar bola “Oye! Tusi vi punjabi ho“


Pathan ek ladki ke saath sex kar raha tha
Ladki boli: “Aur andar, thoda uppar, thoda right, thoda left”
Pathan: “Oye! Tu sex kar rahi hai ya mujhse car park kara rahi hai“


Teacher: Why LOVE Is Better Then WAR?
Santa: Madamji, Tusi Itna Bhi Nahi Jante,
Simple, Because
CONDOM Is Cheaper Then GUN !!!


Madam Ne English Period Mein Munni Se Puchha,
Madam: “Translate This Sentence In Hindi – Pappu Gives Me 14 And 15 Rupees”
Munni Sharmate Hue: “Mam, Pappu Ne Mujhe Choda Aur Pandra Rupaye Diye.


Vo soti rahi main karta raha,
Intzaar us ke jawab ka;
Abhi uske haath me rakha hi tha ke choot gaya,
phool gulab ka;
Usne kaha piche se nahin aage se karo,
deedar mere husn-e-shabbab ka;
Usne kaha bada maja aata hain jab andar jata hai,
kano me ek ek lafz tere pyar ka!!!!!


Ek Admi gusse me Biwi se bola-
Dil karta hai ki aaj tere tukde tukde kar k idhar udhar fek Du.
Achanak pados me se awaaz aayi..
Bhai ‘ch**t’ idhar fekna.


Emraan hashmi subha ke 6 bje sunny leone ke ghar gya.
Emraan hashmi – Aapke ghar stove ki pin hain kya ?
Sunny leone – Subha subha gas khatm ho gyi kya ?
Emraan hashmi – Nahi yaar,
Raat ke 12 bje se panis hila rha hu,
Lekin sala kuch nikal nahi rha, shayad andar kuch fasa hain. 🙂


Santa banta aapas me baate kar rhe the.
Santa – Ladke wale ladki ka hath kab mangte hain ?
Banta – Jab ladke ke hath,
Apna panis khud hilkate hilate thak jate hain. 🙂


Pappu ne call girl ko paise dekar,
Sex ka plan bnaya.
Sex karte time –
Call girl – Tum glat kar rhe ho.
Pappu – Ise karne ke paise diye hain maine,
Aur tu bhi apni marji se karwa rhi hain.
Call girl gusse se – Saale tere karne ka tarika galat hain. 🙂


Pappu apni maa se –
Maa ye sex kya hota hain ?
Uski maa ghabra gyi, aur use sabkuch bta diya.
Pappu – Ye sab to thik hai mummy,
Lekin school form ke chote form me itana sab kaise likhu ? 🙂


Sex ke baad –
Santa call girl ko paise nahi de rha tha.
Call girl ne santa ka panis muh me liya,
Aur boli – Paise nikal nahi to ise chaba jaungi. 🙂
Santa – Saali jaldi nikal ise, Nahi to peshab kar dunga. 🙂


Preeto Bina Kapde Pahne Hi Mahmano Ko Halwa Parosne Aa Jati Hai,
Santa: “Besharam, Tu Hosh Mein To Hai?”
Preeto: “Oji, Recipe Book Mein Likha Tha Serve Hot Without Any Dressing“


Ek Bar Santa Ek Ladki Ke Saath Facebook Pe Chat Kar Raha Tha, Usne Ladki Se Pucha
Santa: “BF Hai?”
Ladki: “Haan Hai.”
Santa: “HD Me Hai Ya Mp4 Me?”
***Blocked***


Santa Ek Baar Park Mein Beth Ker Gaana Ga Raha Tha “Aaj Mein Upar Aasma Niche”
Uske Paas Ek Aadmi Betha Tha Us Aadmi Ne Santa Ka Gaana Sun Kar Santa Ko Bahut Maara
Kyon ???
Kyon Ki Aasma Us Aadmi Ki Beti Ka Naam Tha


Minister to Wife: Sach sach batao,kitni bar humse bewafai ki hai ?
WIFE: 3 Baar,
MINISTER: kab kab?
Wife: Jab aapka heart ka operation hua tha, Dr.K Pas gayi thi, Fir jab aap jail me band hue to judge k pas gayi thi,
Minister: Aur kab?
Wife: Jab aapko sarkar banani thi Aur aapke Paas 76 MLAs kam the..!


A Married Lawyer Had S*x In His Car And Forgot The Girl’s Panties In His Car.
His Wife Saw The Panties In The Back Seat, Tore It Apart Screaming: “What’s This?””
He Calmly Replied: “You Just Destroyed The Evidence Of A Rape Case, Worth Millions That I’m Handling.”
She Quickly Went On Her Knees Apologizing.
Do You Call Him Smart, A Good Lawyer Or A Damn Good Lawyer Or A Good Liar ?
Answer In Comments


Pappu;- 8 Samose Dena
Dukandaar;- Pack Kar Du Kya?
Pappu;- Bhosdike Ruk,Apni Pent Khol
Rha Hu
Gaand Me Daal Dena..


Teacher;- Batao Raja Akbar Ne Kab Tak Shaashan Kiya?
Pappu;- Madam, Page No 22 Sey 30 Tak


Aadmi Ko Zindagi Me Sirf 2 Cheezey
Achi Milni Chahiye

1. Khuraak (Khana Paani Roti)
2. Suraakh (Choot)


Sonakshi Sinha Kisi Pr Sirf
Isliye Naraj Ho Gayi Hai Kyunki
Wo Shaksh Unhey Bikini Me Dekhna Chahta
Tha
Pr Yaha Naraj To Bikini Ko Hona Chahiye
Be Ijjati To Uski Huyi Hai


Ek Hota Hai Sundar
Ek Hota Hai Ati Sundar
..
..
..
In Sabse Bhi Khin Agey.
Bhenchooad Kya Maal Hai.


Jab Jab Mera Insaniyat Sey Vishwaas Uthane Lagta Hai,
Tab Tab Koi MahaPurush Whatsapp Pr
..
..
..
Porn Movie Bhej Kar Insaniyat Ki Nayi Misaal Kayam Kar Deta Hai.


This Is One Of The Best Santa Banta Jokes

Santa Calls Up CM Delhi House And Says “I Want To Be Next CM Of Delhi”
Kejriwaal:- Are u An Idiot?
Santa:- Is It Compulsory?


Boy:- GM Jaanu
Girl:- Haan…
Boy:- Jaanu GM Ka Reply GM Hota
Hai….
Girl:- Ohh Sorry Baaabu Mujhey
Laga Tum Puch Rhe Ho…


Pati Gaana Gaa Rha Tha
Main Duniya Hila Dunga Teri Chahat Mey
Patni;- Rehne Do Raat Ko Khatiya To Hila Nhi Paatey
Duniya Kya Khaak Hilaogey


Boy;- Dadaji Ap Kya Padh Rahe Ho?
Dadaji;- Beta Itihaas
Boy;-Ye To Kaamsutra Ki Kitaab Lag Rahi Hai
Dadaji;- Abey Lodey Mere Liye To Ab Ye


Safalta Hetu Chunotiyo K Saath Saath
Chutiyo Se Bhi Niptana Sikhaiye
.
.
.
.
.Ye Chanakya Ne Ruff Copy Me Likha Tha


Kisi Ne Mujhsey Pucha;-Tum Itne Khush Kaise Reh Lete Ho?
Maine Kha;
Jaa Naa Bhosdike Apna Kaam Kar
Itihaas Hi Hai Naa
Gaand Marwaoogi..


Girlfreind;-Ye Sunny Leone Kon Hai?
BF;- Ye Sunny Leone Ka Istri Roop Hai
Iske Bhi Dhai Dhai Killo Key Hai
Jinko Dekhne K Baad
Aadmi Uthta Nhi
Aadmi Ka Utha Jata Hai


Non Veg Joke in Hindi for Whatsapp

वाईफ : तलाक़ के बाद लड़का मेरे साथ रहेगा.
पति : नहीं मेरे साथ रहेगा..
वाईफ : वाह रे वाह !
मटका मेरा,
दूध मेरा,
थोड़ा सा ‘दही’ क्या डाल दिया पूरा पनीर तेरा.?


संता: बेटा जब हम जवान थे तो 10 रुपये में जी भर के दूध पिया करते थे।
पप्पू: पापा, मजे थे आपके, आजकल तो 100 रुपये मे कोई दबाने भी नही देती।


ईंट पर ईंट चढ़ता है तो ‘दीवार’ बन जाता है,
और ..
लड़की पर लड़का चढ़ता है तो ‘परिवार’


एक साधू बाल खोलकर महिला शौचायल में घुस गया।
औरत: बहन जी, कौन सा महीना चल रहा है?
साधू: 11वां।
औरत: तभी तो बच्चे का एक हाथ बाहर है।


संता ने एक राह चलती अजनबी कुड़ी से कहा-
आपने पहचाना मुझे?
लड़की- आप कौन हो?
संता- मैं वही हूँ जिसे आपने कल भी नहीं पहचाना था।


चुहोँ कि गेँग तलवार लेकर भाग रही थी..
शेर ने पुछा: क्या हुआ,
तुम लोग इतने गुस्से से कैसे भाग रहे हो..?
चुहा: हाथी कि बेटी को किसी ने
प्रपोज किया है, नाम हमारा आ रहा है.


एक लडकी का स्टेटस था
‘Available ‘
मैंने पूछ लिया “कितनें में….?”
बहन की लौडी बुरा मान गई

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