Funny Dirty Jokes

Hello Friends, Are you searching for Funny Dirty Jokes? the you are at perfect place. Here we have compiled the latest dirty jokes in Hindi and English. Get top rated best dirty jokes, funniest short dirty jokes collections. By reading really dirty jokes you mind will swing and these adult dirty jokes are for dirty minds.

Dirty jokes for adults are for fun, they are like little spice in niche of genders, sexuality, dirty mind, double meaning etc. Check out dirty blonde jokes, good dirty jokes, one liner dirty non veg jokes for her/him with best dirty jokes ever which are really going to make a big LOL (laugh) on your face.

 

Best Funny Dirty Jokes for Adults {New 2017}

Girl: Baby I am wet. Boy: Want a paper towel? Girl: No, I want more than that Boy: Want 2 paper towels? Girl: No, baby I want something big and round Boy: Damn you want the whole roll?


A guy goes to the store to buy condoms. The cashier asks, “Do you want a bag?” The guy says, “No. She’s not that ugly.”


Boy: Let’s play the firetruck game. Girl: How do we play? Boy: I run my fingers up your leg, and you say “Redlight” when you want me to stop. Girl: Okay *Few seconds later* Girl: Redlight!!! Boy: Firetrucks don’t stop for redlights


Tom’s wife has been in a coma for months. Her attendants have noticed that every time they wash her crotch she moves a little bit. Desperate, they ask Tom if he would perform oral sex on his wife in an attempt to wake her up. Tom agrees and asks for some privacy in the room. Soon after, he rushes out in a panic and says, “I think she’s choking!”


As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, “If I’m going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman.


He removes all her clothing and asks, “Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?”


A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, “Here, iron this!”.


How are women and tornadoes alike? They both moan like hell when they come, and take the house when they leave.


A little boy goes to school but bringing in a cat with him. Teacher asks him “why did you bring your cat to school?” The little boy replies, “Well, I heard my daddy telling mommy when the kids leave I’m gonna eat that pu**y up.”


What’s the difference between your job and a dead prostitute? A: Your job still sucks!


Q: What do you call a lesbian dinosaur A: A lickalotopis


Santa – Suhaagraat Kaisi Rahi..? Banta – Badhiya Rahi, Waise ek baat bataoon.! Wo Jis Tarah Ki Harkatein Kar Rahi Thi, . . . Main Chaahta To Uski Le Sakta Tha


Marwadi biwi ke sath naha raha tha. Biwi ne saabun lagaya Marwadi ka khada ho gaya?? Biwi gusse se “Is ko chhota karo? Saabun abhi do hafte aur chalana he”


3 Facts of Life Garib aur Boobs hamesha dabte hai. Musibat aur penis kabhi bhi khade ho jate hai. Kismat aur Bra kabhi bhi khul sakti hai.


Santa – Yaar Banta tune poore toilet me potty kyu kar di? Banta – Yaar ye mobile bhi na! Santa – Kya hua? Banta – Tune “IDEA” ka ad nahi dekha “WALK when u TALK”


Teacher: raju, tum kis liye college aate ho? Student: vidya ke khaatir Teacher: toh ab so kyu rahe ho? Student: aaj vidya nahi aayi hai sir


1st wife: tumhaara sharaabi pati roz peekar ghar aata hai na. tum poochti kyu nahi ho. 2nd wife: main poochi thi. lekin unhone mujhe diyaa nahi.


Beggar: 10 rupaiya dedo saab. girlfriend ko phone karni hai. Saab ka girlfriend: dekho, bhikaari bhi apni girlfriend ko kitna pyar karta hai. Beggar: nahi memsaab, use pyar karne ke baad hee main bhikaari ban gayaa


Maalik: arey, tune 500 saal puraani ghadi thod dee hai. naukar: bach gaya saab, main to samjha yeh nayaa hai


Ek kadvaa sach 🙂 Behan ki friend behan ho sakti hai, Bhai ka friend Bhai ho sakta hai, lekin wife ka friend wife nahi ban sakti


suma: maa, raju ne mujhe kiss de diyaa maa: haan kya? rukho main poochti hoo. suma: nahi maa. tum poochoge to woh nahi degaa


Nurse: udhaas kyu baite ho sir? Doctor: dopahar jiska operation kiya tha, woh mar gaya. Nurse: arey woh to post mortem tha. Doctor: to main subah kiska post mortem kiyaa tha


Doctor: tum abhi 2 ganto main mar jaanewaale ho. kya tumhaara koi aakhri khwaaish hai? Patient: Haanji, ek achche doctor ko consult karna hai


Public to Santa: us rowdy ke vajah se hum pareshaan hai. use haamare area se bhagaane ka koi tareeka bataao? Santa: aasaan hai, use election mein khadaa karke MLA banaa do. agle 5 saal tak woh tumhaare area ki taraf nahi aayega.


Driver: Poora petrol khatam ho gayi hai. ab aage nahi bad sakte. Santa: teek hai, gaadi reverse lo aur ghar vaapas chalo


Pati: aaj sunday hai aur aish karna. movie ke liye 3 ticket laayaa hoon. Patni: teen kyu? Pati: tumhe aur tumhaare maata pitaa ke liye.


Wife: suniye, hum is hafte poora cinema dekhenge, agle hafte poora shopping karenge. Husband: uske baad ke hafte poora mandir jaayenge Wife: kyu? Husband: bheek maangne ke liye


Mangta Hoon To Deti Nahi Jawab Meri Baat Ka Deti Ho To Khada Ho Jata Hai Rom Rom Jazbaat Ka Kyun Kehte Ho Bar Bar Dalo Balo Mein Phool Ghulab Ka


Santa-Helmet K Upar Se Apna Sar Khujla Rha Tha Wife-A Ji Helmet To Utaar Lo Snta-Bahnchod Teri Gand Me Khujli Hoti H To Kya Shalwar Utar Deti H


Shadi Ke Liye Ladke Wale Ladki Ko Dekhne Gaye Ladki Ki Maa Ne Ladke Se Pucha: “Beta Kya Kam Karte Ho?” Ladka: “Ji Samsaj Seva Karta Hun” Maa: “Matlab?” Ladka: “Gire Hue Ko Uthata Hun, Bichde Hue Ko Milata Hun” Maa: “Wo Kaisi?” Ladka: “Bra Banata Hun“


Ek Ladka Apni Girlfriend Ke Saath Sex Kar Raha Tha. Ladka Achanak Bola: Jaanu, You Know… Mujhe AIDS Hai.. Girlfriend: KYA? Ladka: Ghabrao Mat… Mein Mazaak Kar Raha Hun, Bas Tumhaari Tight Karni Thi..!


Kaun Si Biwi Sanskaro Wali Hoti Hai? Pati Daru Pee Ke Ghar Aaye Aur Biwi Puchhe: Ji Pehle Condom Lagaun Yae Khana!


Pappu: Bhaisaab Ek Condom Dena. Maine Girl Friend Ko Gift Dena Hai. Dukandar: Is Par Cover Chada Dun Kya? Santa: Arre Nahin Bhai, Ye Cover Hi Hai, Gift Toh Mere Paas Hai.


A girl was handling Pappu’s cock for the first time. After some time few drops came out, she sked, Ye Kya Hai Pappu?? Pappu: Kuch Nahin, Khushi Ke Aansoo hain…


Boy-Tu kitne baje uthti h? Girl-Apna koi time nhi jab dil kare so jati hu, aur jab dil kare uth jati hu.. Boy-notty! Tu bilkul mere ‘kutte’ pe gayi hai..


1 ladka gadhe k samne gir gaya. 1 khubsurat ladki ne dekha aur kaha, “Apne bade bhai k pair chhu rahe ho?” Ladka bola,”JI BHABHI JI!”


Tcher- Aaj short skirt Q Pahan K Aayi ho Girl- Sir Aaj Half Day H Na Isliye, Full Day Par Full dress Pahnti Hu All boys- Sirrrrrrr,,, Holiday ko class lo na!


A mother walks into her daughter’s room with a condom in her hand, “I found this while cleaning your drawers today. Are you sexually active?” The daughter replies, “No, I just lay there.”


Secretary Roti Hui Apne Boss Ke Cabin Mein Aayi Aur Boss Se Puchha. Secretary: Sir, Aap Mujhe Naukri Se Nikaal To Nahi Rahe? Boss Hairan Hote Hue: Nahi To, Tumhe Kisne Kaha? Secretary: Wo Aapne Cabin Se Sofa Aur Bed Hatwa Diya Na Isliye


Condom Salesman: Condom chahiye condom? Customer: Cheap aur khushbudar wala hai toh de! Condom Salesman: laude pe agarbatti ka plastic cover laga kar chod bhosdike


Patient: Gand Main Dard Hai Dr: Main Hath Dalta Hun Batana Kahan Dard Hai Patient: Andar Aur Andar, Aur Andar, Han Yahan Dr : Behen ke lode, tera To Gala Kharab Hai..


Wife Ne Husband Ko Suhagraat Pe 100 Condom Wala Ek Packet Gift Kiya. Husband Bathroom Mein Guss Gaya, Bed Pe Leti Wife Uska Intezar Kar Rahi Thi Kafi Time Tak Jab Vo Na Aaya To Boli: “Jaldi Karo Ji” Husband: “Bas 2 Minute Aur, 97 Chada Liye Hai, Sirf 3 Baaki Hai“


Banta: Sante Aa Tu Nai Scootery Kado Liandi?, Santa: Yaar Main Ik Kudi To Lift Mangi, O Mainu Kujh Door Leja K Kapde Lah Ke Kendi Jo Lena Ae Lai Lo… Banta: Phir Tu Ki Kita, Santa: Main Scootery Lai Aandi.


Kudi Bust Stop Te Khadi, Mobile Te Gallan Kar Rahi Si, Boy ohnu Comment karda hai: Haye! Kash main mobile hunda, teriyan Gaallan (chicks) naal lagya hunda… Kudi: Haan, fer main ghar jaa ke charger teri *$*& ch laundi


Wife Ne Kurti Kaddi, Fer Madhosh Nazran Naal Sante Vall Dekhde Hoye Apni Salwar Laahndi Hoyi Kehan Laggi, “Pata Hai Na, Ajj Ki Karna Hai?”


Santa: Saali, Main Ajj Raat Nu Kapde Nahi Dhowanga Ek Vaar Gali Vich Langar Lagda Hai Santa Apni Wife Di Bra Le K Janda Hai Langer Serve Karan Vaale Nu Kehenda Hai Ek Ch Mithe Choul Paade Ek Ch Namkeen Ha Ha Ha


Kaho Sunil Suhag Raat kaisi rahi Sunil: Kuch mat poocho yaar! Pehle 5-6 baar toh Missed call lagi aur jab sahi number laga toh balance Nil ho gaya


Wife n Mobile: Dono hi dusro ke achche lagte hai. Dono hi naye achche lagte hai. Dono ko hi raat bhar charge karna padta hai


Sardarni: 3 chor aye aur mera jordar RAPE karake chale gaye. Sardar: tumne unhe roka nahi? Sardarni: bahut bola rukane ko magar bole ab aur takath nahi.


Ek baar, ek nanga aadmi aur ek haathi amne saaamne aa gaye. Haathhi ne nange aadmi ko thodi der dekha, aur ohir kaha, tum itni chiti si chiz(thing) se saans kaise lete ho.


Teacher Class Mein Pappu Se Puchhti Hai. Teacher: “Pappu, Sach Aur veham Mein Kya Fark Hai?” Pappu: “Mam, Aap Sexy Ho Ye Sach Hai Aur Hamara Khada Nahi Hota Ye Aapka Veham Hai“

Q- Ladkiyo Ke Nipples Ke Aas-Pas Small Dots Kyu Hote Hain? Ans- Ye Andhe Bhaiyo K Liye Uparwale Ne “Braille Lipi” Me Likha Hai Kripya Yahaa Chuse


Dirty Jokes in Hindi

Funny Dirty Jokes in Hindi
Funny Dirty Jokes in Hindi

Friend: Really satisfied my wife on bed last night! Me: Ohooo, ऐसा क्या कर दिया तूने? Friend: सोफा पे सोया!


पति रोमांटिक मूड में पत्नी से: रात का क्या प्रोग्राम है? पत्नी: जब मुन्ना सो जायेगा, फिर करेंगे। रात काफी बीत जाने के बाद भी जब मुन्ना ना सोया तो पति बोला, “मुन्ना अभी तक सोया नहीं।” पत्नी: जिसकी माँ चुदने वाली हो, उसे कहाँ नींद आती है!


तीन दोस्त दीवाली के बाद मिले. पहला मेरे डैडी मेरे लिए 10,000 के पटाखे लाए, हमने 3 घंटे तक बजाए !


दूसरा मेरे डैडी 15,000 के पटाखे लाए, हमने 4 घंटे तक बजाए !


तीसरा – मेरे मम्मी-डैडी घर पर नहीं थे……..तो मैं 5000 का सिर्फ़ एक ही पटाखा लाया और सारी रात बजाया.


सच्चा दोस्त तो वही जो आपकी गर्लफ्रेंड को दीदी बोले, क्योकि भाभी बोलने वाले भी आजकल मादरचोद हो गये है.


लड़किया पैंट के नीचे क्या पहनती है ? सोचो . . . . सोचते रहो . . . . वो चप्पल पहेनती है. हवस के पुजारियो!! नीचे पुछा था, अंदर नही


एक बच्चे ने कॉल गर्ल से पूछा : आंटी जी, आपके पास बंगला, कार, बेंक बेलेन्स, नौकर-चाकर सब हैं.. आप करती क्या है..?? ? ? ? ? कॉल गर्ल : एक छोटा सा ‘होल-सेल’ का बिज़्नेस है.

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