Funny Bad Jokes – Being Good, But are Actually Very Bad

Check out latest collection of Funny Bad Jokes which tends to be good but actually they are very bad. Feel the badness and share this bad jokes with friends.

Really Funny Bad Jokes {New 2017}

A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, “I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything.”

Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: “Does this taste funny to you?”

“Doc, I can’t stop singing ‘The Green, Green Grass of Home. “That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome.” “Is it common?” Well, “It’s Not Unusual.”

I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn’t find any.

Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says Dam!”

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft.
Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.

Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.

I totally understand how batteries feel because I’m rarely ever included in things either.

It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.

I used to think the brain was the most important organ. Then I thought, look what’s telling me that.

A farmer in the field with his cows counted 196 of them, but when he rounded them up he had 200.

How does NASA organize their company parties? They planet.

Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the “P” is silent.

What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers.

How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a light bulb? Let’s go play on our bikes.

What do you call dangerous precipitation? A rain of terror.

What’s the best part about living in Switzerland? Not sure, but the flag is a big plus.

What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef

How can you tell if a groom is Polish?
He would be the one with the clean bowling shirt.

Did you hear about the two fat men who ran in the New York Marathon?
One ran in short bursts, the other in burst shorts!

What’s the difference between a tennis ball and the prince of Wale’s?
One is heir to the throne and the other is thrown into the air.

How do crazy people go through the forest?
They take the psycho path.

How do you get holy water?
Boil the hell out of it.

What is a zebra?
26 sizes larger than an “A” bra.

What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.

What’s the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anyone can roast beef.

What is green and has wheels?
Grass, I lied about the wheels.

Why wouldn’t the lobster share his toys?
Because he was shellfish

Have you heard the joke about the bed?
It hasn’t been made up yet.

Well, it was a trick question, and you really don’t need to answer because last time I checked,
we all like stupid jokes, funny quotes and dumb one-liners.

And as much as we like to hear these hilarious jokes, we love to share them with our friends and family on a regular basis via social networks, such as Facebook, Twitter and WhatsApp.

A consultant at St Mary’s Hospital, Portsmouth,
England tells me that while passing through a frantic ENT [Ear, Nose and Throat] clinic,
he overheard this curious bit of conversation:
Senior surgeon (angrily) :’For goodness sake, nurse, get me my auriscope.'[a medical device which is used to look into the ears].
Distracted young nurse :’But doctor, I don’t even know your star sign.’

Boy – Can I buy you a drink?
Girl – Actually I’d rather have the money.
Boy – Go on, don’t be shy. Ask me out.
Girl – Okay, get out.

At a formal event, roll your tie up into a little bundle right below the knot.
Then ask someone, “Which of the 2 flaps do you think will unravel first?”
After they guess, let it unravel and go “It’s a tie!”.

I wrote a song about a tortilla. Well actually, it’s more of a wrap.

What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

How did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool.

What happened when the cow jumped over a barbed wire fence?
Utter destruction!

What did the grape do when he got stepped on?
He let out a little wine.

Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself?
It is two tired.

Why do sea-gulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay they would be bagels!

What do you call a cow who has had a abortion?

Where do you find a legless turtle?
Right where you left him!

What do you call a bee that produces milk?

When do you have the right to scold your coffee?
When you have more than sufficient grounds.

What do you call a fly without wings?
A walk.

docter docter I feel like a bunch of curtans then open them up

why was the dog not at the party
because he would have to eat a hotdog

Q. What is the difference between a dirty bus station and a shrimp with breast implants?
A. One is a crusty bus station, while the other is a busty crustacean.

Q: What do you call a bomb that doesn’t explode, but lands on a cow?
A: A milk dud.

Q: How does a lawyer get where he is going?
A: He makes A-turn-ey!

Q: What do you call a man that irons clothes?
A: Iron Man

Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the water?
A: Bob.

Q:What do you call a man with one leg?
A: Neil.

Q: What do you call a woman with one leg?
A: Eileen.

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